How to handle tears

99% of the women cry. For us, men, it’s a nightmare. First of all, we usually have no idea how to react to those tears: should we leave? Should we stay? Should we try to find out what’s wrong or avoid the topic all together? If we dare to reflect on the situation afterwards, we treat tears as a blackmail. She can get whatever she wants….and the main problem is: she knows that.

So, why do women cry and how to handle those tears:

1. Manipulation technique. Women know that tears throw you off and therefore cry when she wants something that she cannot get otherwise. It’s a pure childish strategy, which works. We fall for it, and that’s why it keeps being used on us. So, as difficult as it sounds – do not react. Explain, logically, why she cannot have what she wants. Then, leave it and show that this strategy will not work on you. The clearer you will show it – the less likely that she will use it again. So, try very hard!

2. Biologically, women feel bad once a month. For some women its easier than for others, but in all cases, it’s not the best time for them. If she cries, the likelihood is that she is in a lot of pain. Be nice to her – bring her tea, put a pillow under her head, sympathise with her.

3. Something went wrong in her life and she is crying. This is a genuine reason why women cry. They are a lot more emotional and therefore a lot of things are a big deal to them. Our natural reaction is to solve the problem. But suggest this too soon, and you will never see the end of those tears. Therefore, first things first, listen. Let her talk. Even if you can see the solution straight away, do not mention it, let her spill everything out. Once she is finished, provide the solutions that will help her resolve the issue. If no such a solution is present, take her side (especially if it comes to disagreements with girlfriends).

My past, how much should I tell her?

She will want to know all of it and eventually you should tell her. However, this information is always “threatening”, so choose carefully when and how you present those facts to her.

1. If she asks, tell her about your ex-girlfriends. However, do not tell her how you have felt about them. Keep it to simple facts: how long you went out, what went wrong, how long you have been single afterwards. The more you will tell her about the way you have felt with your ex, the more threatened she will feel, as she will doubt her ability to bring you more happiness.

2. When mentioning ex-girlfriends, do not say bad things about them. Like it or not, women stick together and if you say something bad, the likelihood is – she will be disappointed in you. Once again, present facts – not emotions.

3. The “how many women you have been with?” is always a tricky question. Avoid this question at all times, as it never leads to anything good. Instead, make her understand, that the only woman that matters is her, so your past relationships do not matter.

4. She will want to know about your “guilty stories” – have you ever cheated on a woman, have you ever back stabbed your friends, why have you been a bachelor for so long etc. Although the stories differ, we all have them. Lying is not an option – she will find out. So, tell her the truth. However, be very careful how you present it. Stick to this method: 1) explain the facts from both sides of the story 2) Elaborate on what you have leant from experience 3) Reassure her that this situation will never occur again.